What is my PhD about?

March 2020

A ‘Doctor of Philosophy’ is what I am officially enrolled in. I am engaged in research that I initiate and do all the work for, mostly, but that is where the similarities between all HDR (Higher Degree by Research) students stops. 

Yes, we are all seeking to discover something new, something to add to our field of interest and eventually we all will in our own individual, narrow, unlimited way. I say ‘unlimited’ because research is creative. Yes, even scientific research looking for vaccines is creative. At some point an idea will land in a scientist’s mind. Something odd might happen, irregular, unexpected, maybe in the middle of the night or in the shower or watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine. And there it will be, the beginnings of something new that we will all be aware of and very glad for.

Not all of us are scientists but we are all researchers. 

I research poetry. 

And I do this by writing poetry—after I have studied poetic form and other poets and the expectations of my chosen sub-genre (confessional poetry). I write and pay attention to what I am doing but not too closely or the magic doesn’t show up. I listen to the feedback my Supervisor gives me, even when I don’t like it—which is all the time—and then I make the poetry better.

My research question—we all have one—is: How does poetry allow trauma to speak? 

All research projects contain personal challenges. It might be getting motivated or finding people to fill out your survey or figuring out why you thought it would be a good idea to torture yourself in this cruel and unusual way. Mine is the trauma.

If I am going to see for myself how poetry allows trauma to speak then I’m going to have to write about trauma. Good thing I have plenty to draw on then. Difficult childhoods are good like that…I suppose…

Here’s the thing. The poetry takes the trauma and does the impossible. 

It makes it beautiful.